“He would call me dozens of times a day…”
Date Added: 11/05/2022
New programme shines light on coercive control
“He would call me dozens of times a day, wanting to know where I was and who I was with. He would check my phone and even delete contacts from it. He would turn up at my workplace or insist that I leave the studio to eat lunch with him in his car.”
These are the words of ITV presenter Ruth Dodsworth (pictured below: picture courtesy of ITV) speaking on Good Morning Britain about the abuse she endured at the hands of her ex-husband, who is now in prison after he pleaded guilty to stalking and coercive control.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten someone. It's designed to make a person dependent on the abusive partner by isolating them from support, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.
It could include:
• Isolating someone from friends and family
• Controlling what someone can wear, what they can eat, where they can go or who they can see
• Monitoring the use of someone’s car, or insisting on driving them anywhere they need to go
• Putting someone down and making them feel worthless, humiliating them
• Financial abuse; depriving someone of access to their own money, or controlling finances
• Threatening to hurt or kill someone, their children or their pets
• Gaslighting; making someone question their own memory
This isn’t an exhaustive list. There is more information about coercive control on the Bedfordshire Domestic Abuse Partnership website.
Do Ruth’s words, or the points above, sound familiar to you?
To find out more about coercive control and other types of domestic abuse, visit the Bedfordshire Domestic Abuse Partnership website.
You can also visit our website using the link below, and scroll to the very bottom of the page to find our ‘Safe Space’ button.
The Safe Space web page leaves no trace in your internet history, and will allow you to take a survey to see if what you’re experiencing is abuse, and help you access local and national support services.
Our website
Controlled by My Partner? The Hidden Abuse
Ruth’s experiences are detailed in an episode of the Tonight programme, called ‘Controlled by My Partner? The Hidden Abuse’. It’s available to watch now on the ITV hub. If anything in the programme is familiar to you, please seek support. You are not on your own.
If you feel unsafe and need help, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247. In an emergency, dial 999.
If you’re worried about a family member, a loved one, a friend, a neighbour or a work colleague, you can report concerns about domestic abuse anonymously. Talk to CrimeStoppers by calling 0800 555 111. Or visit the CrimeStoppers domestic abuse webpage where you can anonymously complete an online form.
If you watch the programme and you are worried about your own behaviour, call the Respect phoneline on 0808 802 4040 and talk to an advisor.